The View Up Here

Random scribblings about kites, photography, machining, and anything else

Depression Sucks

Posted by Tom Benedict on 27/12/2011

Downhole

Depression sucks. When it hits, it’s like a big gaping hole in your life that everything falls into. Good company, good stories, laughter and smiles, none of it really helps. It’s like you’re being eaten from the inside. Hollow.

I’d love to share insightful words of wisdom for how to deal with depression, but I don’t have any. It’s been a plague and a curse for as long as I can remember. The crummy thing is, I can be feeling on top of the world and all it takes is a couple of seconds for me to feel like I’m under the bus.

I’m fortunate in that the depressions I go through aren’t because of a hereditary condition or a chemical imbalance. Get depressed often enough and you wind up studying it to try to better understand it. I started trying to get a handle on mine over ten years ago. I learned that mine is situational. In every case I can point to a root cause. Even this time. It’s good information to have, but it doesn’t make dealing with it any easier. And it’s rotten to know that all it takes is an unfortunate combination of words coming out of someone’s mouth or off of their keyboard, and I’m back in the hole.

A while ago I saw this quote, credited to Neil Gaiman, one of my favorite authors: “Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, simply surrounded by assholes.” Truer words have never been said. The real trick is to divest yourself of assholes. Sometimes that’s easier said than done.

Another trick is to ply yourself with distractions. Time to build that video downlink and to keep studying for my General class exam.

– Tom

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